Friday, December 23, 2005

Christmas suggestion

Bush urges Americans to spy on each other this holiday
Calls invasion of privacy ‘the gift that keeps on giving’

By Andy Borowitz
The Borowitz Report
December 20, 2005

IN A SPECIAL pre-holiday address to the American people, George W. Bush today said that the upcoming holiday season affords all Americans a unique opportunity to spy on their neighbors, and urged his fellow citizens to do so.

"My fellow Americans, over the holidays many of you will be receiving new camcorders as gifts," Mr. Bush told his national television audience. "Instead of making boring home movies of your children, point the camera at the house next door and see what your neighbors are up to."

Saying that the people next door "might be evildoers," Mr. Bush said that by spying on one’s neighbors, "You’re going to find out who’s naughty or nice."

Coming just days after he defended his own practice of wiretapping phone conversations without a court warrant, Mr. Bush’s exhortation to the American people to snoop on one another over the holidays was the latest indication that he intends to ramp up domestic spying in the new year.

"Invasion of privacy is the gift that keeps on giving," the president said.

Perhaps in an attempt to preempt criticism of his domestic spying program, Mr. Bush added that he was "more than willing" to let the government spy on him.

"Go ahead, get a list of every library book I’ve taken out in the last five years," he said. "You won’t find anything."

Elsewhere, a new report shows that China now has the fourth largest economy in the world, after the United States, Japan, and Vice President Dick Cheney.

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