Monday, December 19, 2005

Just in time for Christmas

On sale at the White House gift shop:

Constitution Toilet Paper: Cheap.

You thought the Administration was the only one who could wipe their ass with the consitution. You were wrong! Now you can follow in the footsteps of the most corrupt Administration in American History by wiping your ass on the US Constitution.

Feel the ink on your ass cheeks! Feel the parchment texture as you prevent skidmarks on your underwear.

Testimonial: "Now I can be like Antonin Scalia, Dick Cheney, John Ashcroft, Alberto Gonzales and George Bush all in the privacy of my own trailer" J. Robinson; Fresno, CA

Testimonial: "With constitution toilet paper I bought at the White House, I can feel even more powerful. The shit that comes out of my mouth is protected by it, the shit that comes out of my ass is cleaned up by it." J. Arpaio; Phoenix, AZ

Testimonial: "Constitution Toilet Paper reminds me that I can do whatever I want, because the Constitution is really just a 227 year old peace of toilet paper." Police Chiefs of America.

Testimonial: "Thanks to Constitution Toilet Paper, I can spy on Americans." G. Bush; Stamford, Connecticut or Crawford, Texas (which ever one will make me more popular).

Yes, you too can be like Modern Republicans and use the Constitution as Toilet Paper. All with Constitution Toilet Paper!

On sale individually for a Pioneer sized donation, or in bulk for a Ranger sized donation!


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