Thursday, May 11, 2006

Dear Mr. Rove

NanceGreggs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Journal
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Wed May-10-06 09:23 PM
Original message

Don't bother with SNOPES ... Updated at 9:47 PM

... this is not a REAL letter. But having read that Bushie's dog,
KarlRover, is planning a massive campaign to get the GOP vote out in
November, I wonder how many letters he'll receive along these lines in

Dear Mr. Rove,

Just to let you know that I got your letter about me and the mister
getting out and voting in November. Well, you could have saved yourself
a stamp, cause there's just about nothing that would keep us from
fulfilling our duty as good Republicans and proud citizens of the US of A.

There are a few problems with voting this time, though, and I thought
I'd let you know about them, which I hate to do being as you have your
own troubles and whatnot.

The mister and I live in farm country, and the nearest polling place is
quite a ways away. With the price of gas being what it is, we don't know
that we can afford to get there like usual. In better times, we would
have dipped into the cookie jar (meaning our savings), but that's been
gone ever since the mister got his job outsourced after thirty-five
years with his company. He hasn't been able to find steady work since
then, and even though we keep hearing about this great economy we're in
the middle of, apparently it has yet to arrive in our little corner of
the world.

So I called my sister, Nadine, and asked if we could maybe ride with her
to do our bit. But she can't hardly talk these days, no less drive, what
with having lost her only son in Iraq and all. Turns out he would have
done just fine if they'd let him wear that armor Nadine paid so dear
for. But the army said he wasn't allowed to use it, and they didn't have
any of their own to give him. Seems a sorry waste of a fine young
solider, don't it?

Nadine said why don't I call Ellen, our cousin (once removed), who is
always willing to help out when it's needed. I hardly had the heart to
tell Nadine that Ellen, who moved to Louisiana going on twenty years
ago, hasn't been seen nor heard from since Katrina. After all these
months, that just doesn't seem possible, but there you have it.

Well, no sooner did I get off the phone with Nadine when my nephew, Bob
Jr., rang up and said he'd come down and take me and the mister to the
voting place when the time came. Well, Lordy bless his heart, but I had
to say no. Truth is he can't afford the drive anymore than we can, since
he lost his job upstate with a big company that said they couldn't
afford to keep him on.

Thing is this company is in the papers all the time, making more money
than you could spit at, so it makes you wonder why they can't afford to
pay Bob Jr. anymore, him just being an assembly line-worker and all,
especially when you read about how much money the big bosses make who
own this same plant.

Being as Bob Jr's youngest was diagnosed with some sickness this time
last year, he's got his hands full along with empty pockets, wondering
how to get medical treatment for his child now that he don't have no
insurance to go hand-in-hand with having no job.

But I was determined to do my duty, so I sent a letter to my good
Republican congressmen (neatly written on my best paper) and asked if
there wasn't some help out there for loyal people who just wanted to
vote. Well, don't you know that not two months later, I got a letter
from him! It appeared all official, except my name looked a bit
different from the rest of the printin'. Anyways, long story short,
turns out he was thanking me for my concerns about the War on Terrorism.
He must of got me mixed up with someone else. But he's been busy making
the country safer by golfing in Scotland and such, so you can see how
he'd get confused.

So there was nowhere to turn except the Good Lord, and I prayed for
inspiration and didn't it come quick by way of my church friends, a
bunch of ladies who are in the same financial boat as me, so to speak.
So we put our heads together and figured that if we skipped our
25-cents-a-card bingo game on Fridays, we could save enough money
between now and voting time to get all of ourselves on a bus and over to
the voting station where we should be.

After all is said and done, Mr. Rove, if everything works out good like
we're planning, me and the mister, along with the church group ladies
and their folk will all be voting right on time, that is if the Good
Lord keeps us all healthy cause a lot of us tend to feel poorly more
often than not these days, what with not getting our pills like we used
to under this new drug plan they got going.

So there we will be come November, ready to cast our votes for whatever
Democrat they have running on the ballot. And if you're wonderin' why by
any chance, well just go back to the start of this letter where it says
"Dear Mr. Rove" and read it over again. I'm sure a smart fella like
yourself will figure it out soon enough.

With all due respect,
Mrs. (and the Mister) P.O. Citizen
Everywhere, U.S.A.


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