Wednesday, May 17, 2006

no laughing matter

George Bush has to stop laughing at himself. When your incompetence literally costs lives, giggling at it isn't cute or funny. You know, there's a guy who's been running around the country pretending he's the president. And I believe his name is George Bush. And he wants everyone to know that he doesn't take himself too seriously. Which is working out great, because now nobody else in the world does either. [...]

So, Mr. President, don't laugh at yourself, because breaking the law is not cute. Having Americans torture people isn't adorable. Leaving poor people to drown wasn't enchanting. And WMD's wasn't a shaggy dog story. So I'll make a deal with you. We won't impeach you if you just stay on your estate---I mean "ranch"---and fish on your man-made lake. For perch. Maybe you'll beat your own record.

But, for the next three years, just don't touch anything. I was wrong when I criticized you for taking too much vacation time. It couldn't be more the reverse. Take all the "me" days you want. But if you get any big ideas and try to do something---y'know, like go to Mars or put the Ten Commandments on the flag or turn the ports over to the Amish---then we're going to have to put you in the only place we can be sure we can be safe from you. And it looks like this.

---Bill Maher


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