Saturday, July 25, 2009

Bob's trip to the doctor

Meet Bob. Like many hard-working, responsible Americans, Bob has a good private health care plan. Bob never worries about getting sick, because he knows he's taken care of. Bob doesn't want the government getting in between him and his doctors, making decisions about his health care.

Today at work, Bob started feeling ill. Luckily for Bob, it wasn't a work-related sickness, because some government bureaucrat got in between Bob and his employer and made sure Bob had safe working conditions. "It's probably just a cold," Bob thought to himself. After work, Bob got in his car and drove to the doctor's office. Luckily for Bob, his car didn't blow up or break down on the way because some government bureaucrat got in between Bob and the automaker, demanding safety standards. And when Bob got on the Interstate to save some time, it was a good thing some government bureaucrat had meddled with the free market and ensured it was there to be used. Bob didn't notice any of this, though. He wasn't feeling well.

Arriving at the doctor's office, Bob stopped by the water fountain to cool his throat. Happily for Bob, he didn't get poisoned because some government bureaucrat had gotten between Bob and the water supplier to ensure safe drinking water. At the receptionist's desk, Bob was told that the doctor was very busy and he might have to wait several hours to be seen. Bob was glad America has the best health care system in the world, unlike Canada, where his favorite "fair & balanced" news network had told him he might have to wait days or weeks to be seen. This wasn't actually true, but Bob had no way of knowing that. A long time ago, some government bureaucrat had gotten between Bob and the networks to make sure there was fairness and truth in broadcasting. But then Bob and his friends voted for a famous movie actor as president, and they got rid of that un-American government interference.

When Bob finally saw the doctor, he was diagnosed with a rare type of infection and prescribed drugs to clear it up. Bob didn't even look at the prescription, because he trusted his doctor's judgment. Luckily for Bob, some government bureaucrat had gotten between him and the drug companies and demanded extensive safety testing to make sure the drugs wouldn't harm him. On the way back to his car, Bob took a deep breath of fresh air. He didn't start choking on all sorts of toxic fumes because some government bureaucrat had gotten between Bob and heavy industry and decided Bob had a right to clean air.

Bob stopped by the pharmacy on his way home to fill the prescription. Sadly for Bob, however, the pharmacist informed him that his HMO would not cover the drug. Bob had to fork over $363.72 out of pocket for the prescription, which meant he would really have to tighten his belt next month. Luckily for Bob, if he didn't have enough money for food he could get government assistance, because some government bureaucrat had gotten between Bob and the free market and decided Americans should never have to go hungry.

Bob arrived at home, switched on his favorite "no-spin" news network, and said to his wife, "Honey, I'm so glad we live in America, where we can stop the government from making our decisions for us. I don't need some government bureaucrat interfering in my life and deciding what's best for me."

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